Christmas

A popular Christian holiday and international bank holiday that occurs on December 25th. The holiday is much loved by retail giants who profit from the commerical climax. It is also used by the Christian church as a tool to recruit children.

History
The holiday was set up by the tyrannical, murderous Romans in an effort to quell vicious sectarian fighting that was tearing apart the Roman empire in the fourth century. By choosing December 25th, they did not have to convince anyone to join the celebration, as the date basically hijacked the goodwill atmosphere of the pagan festival of the winter solstice just a few days before on December 22nd. Under Christian mythology, the theory goes that a famous, Jewish joiner and part-time illusionist called Jesus Christ was born on this day in a town in the West Bank called Bethlehem. But no one can really be sure, as his birthplace wasn't documented until the gospel of Saint Luke, which was written about sixty years later. Personally, I don't know what happened sixty days ago, let alone sixty years.